I decided to make a list of the things I really like about Thailand. I haven't been able to justify posting it because it's not that long, then I though to include those things that are taken to the extreme here, like the hot weather.

1. It's always warm.

2. Education is very flexible and adaptable.

3. Walking around, you can find pockets of discarded bones. I pass by fish bones on my daily commute, and a different corner on the other side of town full of pig bones.

4. Really great fruits are here and always around.

5. It's fun to watch monkeys, and the people who think themselves better behaved than monkeys.

Skits about blood

In my biology classes, I decided to exploit the Thai student's love of theatrics and assign them a skit. They were supposed to act out human blood, so we had fights between white blood cells and bacteria, sometimes with prop guns and knives. Almost everyone wore some kind of hat to identify who they were, and it was a generally good time.

I was amazed at how much the others, sometimes even kids within the performing group, were talking during the show. I tried to explain that it's rude, but I remembered how Thai's deal with the issue of not being able to hear a performer. They just find the biggest most obnoxious speakers they can find and blast out all other noise. Some of my coworkers do this in their classes, but I think it kind of defeats the purpose.

Science Exhibition Day

My week started with the first class on the first day absent. After I returned to the office, I find a note on our common whiteboard explaining that they (my best class) are on a trip to Bangkok for a science exhibition. First, I would like to know beforehand, second, this is the class I have twice a week and they told me they would miss class on thursday, and third, why is a science teacher not told about the science exhibition.

As the week goes by, my classes are dropping like flies and every time a brave student gets forcibly volunteered by their classmates to have a dreaded "English" conversation with me, I learn a little bit more about why they are missing class. It turns out that they are each working on science projects for today. Naturally, I'm excited and I try to determine the nature of these presentations. Some are dissecting shrimp (they always pronounce it chimp and I really got my hopes up). Others are bending electron beams with a magnet, mixing mentos and cola, or diffusing colors in milk (this last one was very pretty and got translated to me as 'color dance', which I told them was pretty accurate). Again, I wasn't told about this get together of sciences. Nor was I told about the signs that said magic (I assume in a sense that means science is amazing like magic) or the astrology part (the horoscope I was given was printed on a piece of paper in Thai, so I'm not sure if it's accurate or not). A little part of me wants to stay and fix it all, but a bigger part of me is rational.

water

There's a shiny metal box outside my office, where water is kept colder than the ambient temperature. I just got asked by a Thai teacher if it was clean. I replied that I thought it was, I've been drinking it for a while (I started shortly after I was told that the other metal thing with water is not for drinking). She asked if I was sure, and I quickly responded No, generating in her one of the most heartfelt laughs I've gotten out of one of my Thai coworkers. As I walked off, she said, "In the future, it will be clean, coming soon." I hope I don't find out the hard way what she means.

Scheduling

I got office-spaced on yesterday. We spent the whole day trying to figure out what was going on, betting on whether or not my students would show up (one class, not at all; another class only the girls were there), and with the last period cancelled, I sat at my desk watching an old sci fi movie called Capricorn One and grading midterm paragraphs (referring to them as essays won't do). A few times I considered ducking out early, because I could do the work at home, or the next day.

I should have left, because ten minutes before I'm scheduled to be out of the office, they tell me the English contest I was supposed to help with that day got moved to 7 30 the next morning, which is half an hour earlier than I usually come in. I try to explain that, no, I don't have other plans, but I would have liked more notice. Anyway, I come in at 7 30 on the dot, sit around grading those same papers, and at 8 am (normal showing up time, remember), I'm handed my list of English questions I'm supposed to read to the competing students. One of the questions involved asking about a Thai royal, and I only left out a few of the twelve syllables before the Thai teacher took over. At least I was able to pronounce "Her Royal Highness Princess..." correctly.

So I sit at my desk grading for a bit more, and around 8 15, I go read these questions about general English knowledge. So glad I went to bed early and got a good nights sleep. Wait, no I was the one who did laundry, drank beer, and watched Gremlins last night. So leave early and keep your head down is the moral. I never thought I'd be in this kind of office atmosphere, but it's one more experience I can notch on my belt. Is anyone still confused about why I'm coming home in a month?

So I finally made it up to Bangkok for a weekend. It's a nice little city of ten million down town people. I spent my time in a place called Khosan road, which is a popular hang out for backpackers. I haven't seen that many white people since I was in America, and I hadn't had a hot shower like that since I was in Jordan (the country). On sunday, my friends went to a cooking class, and I thought I would leisurely stroll down a street, then come back. I've told people this before, but now I really learned it: walking off by yourself and trying to come back is easiest when the city uses a grid system. In short, I have never been so lost as I was Sunday afternoon in Bangkok. I saw a few of the sights and mostly hung out by the pool a lot, so I had a fine weekend.

I think the rainy season has officially started because I haven't really seen the sun in a couple of days. I thought it would cool things off, but actually the only difference is that humidity is so pervasive that sweat doesn't go anywhere unless it drips off. I'm sure it will flood enough to be annoying pretty soon. But if you haven't heard yet, I'll be back soon. More on that later.

We had a long weekend for the beginning of Buddhist lent, aka three months when monks stay at the temple they're in and out of the rainy season. To celebrate, I took a trip up to see the science teacher I replaced, the snakes he researches, and hang out with some graduate students doing research at an ecotourism reserve. The place was great and I had a really fun time in the field doing some nerd talk with biologists. We took a group photo with a camera trap, used radiotelemeters to find hidden birds, took a night hike in search of herps, and played language centered drinking games ("never have I ever" becomes "I have never" with esl students and I prefer the wording myself). If anyone knows what kind of bug this is, let me know. I argued with the Thai student who told me it was Ephemoptera, and I've determined that it may be Neuroptera, all I know is that I've never seen a dragonfly with antennae that big, but its otherwise a very good mimic of a predatory insect.

Hospital

After being here a few months, I'm well on my way to getting an official work permit. This includes a trip to the local hospital and physical examination including a VDRL test. I thought for a bit that VDRL would test for lots of things because that's what the name sounds like, but apparently it's just for syphilis. I was told in the van after touching down in Bangkok that this was a required test to pass for employment and I tried to explain to my employers that from now on they should tell people that kind of thing before they fly to the other side of the world and start work. Now that I have officially been declared 'unreactive' to the test, I can voice an opinion about it. The only thing worse than being told I had syphilis and subsequently fired from a job would be if I were complaining about the test on the internet.

I have also been officially measured. This has actually come up a lot recently so I'm not just bragging. I am 187 cm tall and 70 .5 kg massive. Blood pressure is 118 / 64 and the nice lady remarked on how low my pulse is. It's written as 60, but I thought the machine was even lower. Actually, the date on the form says its the year 2554, so who knows.

A few things stuck out as memorable. I had to sit and wait in four different places, which is not surprising; I've been with my dogbitten friend a couple of times and her experiences were similar. At one point I sat next to a sign that said X ray 1 in big letters on the top, then there was a sign that said Pregnancy, no X ray on the bottom. I made it a point to watch the technician actually take the needle out of its package for my blood test, and in this land of wrapping everything at least twice in plastic, I would have been thoroughly surprised otherwise. He did a good job, but I have really easy veins to hit, and he didn't wear gloves. The really surprising thing to me is when I saw the nurse's shoes. First, it was surprising that I noticed women's shoes, and secondly, they were wearing heels. They are all about the image here in Thailand.

First Day of Sports Week

Classes this week have been occasionally cancelled in preparation for a little event called "Sports Days". Kids missed my class so that they could practice cheering for the competitors. I barely understand the concept of cheering and practicing for it makes no sense to me whatsoever, but now that I've seen some of their routines, it is impressive. Along with the massive artistic sets that have been prepared, it's quite a production. Another thing that bothers me, but would be acceptable to lots of my western friends, is that most of the cheering has so far been for running, which I consider a non-sport.

Today, there are no classes, and though we have to be here today, offices and classes are locked to prevent wandering children, I guess. The gymnasium was even closed up this morning so that more people would pay attention to the communal happenings on the soccer field. A long track was set up with corresponding cheering sections watching runners go round and round. The sun was hot and luckily, as the day progressed, the gym became free and unorganized sports took over that particular area.

I do not remember having a 'field day' in any of my school years, but I can guarantee that I would have been one of the kids in the gym, playing volleyball, basketball, or badminton in the most unofficial way possible. Basketball is simple enough because the rims are bolted to walls, but they remove the volleyball net so that kids had to build a "net" out of their shoes. This actually sums up many of my observations of Thailand: they do have the net, the ball, and the will, but these things are purposefully removed to serve something of the greater good or the master plan. Needless to say, I spent my time playing the unorganized, pay-no-attention-to-the-color-of-my-shirt, activities. This is partly because that's what I've spent my life enjoying the most and I appreciate the way it brings everyone together in friendly competition, but it's also partly because I'm one of two people not wearing the team colors today (i.e., I don't actually own a yellow shirt), and I feel out of place in a sea of synchronized colors.

I've decided attempting a Thai language ban on my students while they are in my classroom. Objections have been duly noted, but I am convinced that it is the proper way to go. A large part of the Thai I have learned so far comes from them repeating the phrases, "I don't know" and "What the hell is he trying to say to me" (loose translation), so I've taught them the difference in "I don't know" and "I don't understand". It is a starting point for science and a positive step in making me understand what is getting through to them.

My other ESL experience was at a private academy in South Korea, where our rules were no Korean once they entered the building. Those kids started out at a more advanced level, but from what I've seen the degree of mixing languages is greater here than it was there. Korean + English = Konglish because of many technological words they used like handupone (meaning hand phone or cell phone) and aerocon (meaning air conditioner, which is present in a few languages I think), but here they do that and then some. I've noticed that if you talk to my kids for any period of time, they start to use Thai, which happens naturally of course, but I think the teaching style here of learning English while using your native language exacerbates that.

It's also quite difficult to teach science because I have very little contact with the Thai science teachers and no access to facilities or materials. The fact that I've been told laboratories are there but I've never been shown them only makes it worse. I did get to jump up on a desk today while teaching about gravity, though.

This is where we had lunch by the river.
These are the mudflaps I think Stuart needs on his rig. I'm not sure whose picture it is, maybe Eric Clapton or Kenny Loggins.

teacher appreciation

Strange Thai thing number 1 was at school this week as we had Wai Kru, or teacher appreciation day. The ceremony begins with all of the kids lining up in a very orderly fashion on the floor of our gymnasium/gathering hall. They do this without any direction from teachers and they are quite good at making this quasi military formation because its the first thing done every morning at the beginning of school. Meanwhile, all of us teachers are sitting up on the stage in two long rows, with foreign (called falang, because apparently the French were the first exposure to white people Thais had, they pronounced French as falang, and the name stuck for a few hundred years) teachers in the back row and many of the Thai teachers in their best military dress.

There was some nice music and a few speaches, then the procession began, which means that every student walks by (another aside here; when students pass a teacher, it is customary for them to stoop a little and bow their heads as a sign of respect. This was done a lot more in the past, but is still considered polite behavior) and then kneels in front of the teachers for a one to one sign of respect. They give you a gift of flowers and maybe some incense, bow their head down and await words of wisdom or encouragement. I don't know the students well yet, but I am vaguely aware of their English ability and the fact that any advice I could give must be very simple and easy to understand. I tell them good luck, work hard, and study what makes them happy. Good advice, but its very likely that they don't understand what I mean. They politely wait for me to stop talking, then get up and move on, probably wishing that they had been luckier and gotten to kneel in front of someone who spoke their language. Because all of the hundreds of students bring flowers, it is expected that we won't keep all of them and helper students are waiting nearby to relieve us of the unwanted gifts. These students remain on their knees to show even more respect.

I find it difficult to describe how strange the scenario is, but I was raised in the US where we don't have these customs. Most people consider it a good thing that Thais are so respectful, but I'm not convinced. I am aware that some American students would more happily punch a teacher in the face than physically lower themselves in the presence of educators, but with that disrespect comes the desire to question authority and think for oneself. Kids are better off learning early to be an individual and respect adults after it's been earned. Of course, a lot of it comes down to the cultural differences regarding what is considered rude and polite, but I'm tired of that excuse. Maybe it's the science teacher in me that wants to make sure my kids question accepted wisdom and authority. Actually, a major milestone was achieved yesterday because I successfully taught one of my students to say "I don't understand" as a response to my question. That statement lets me know what is and is not getting through to them, and it's the first step towards finding something interesting to learn. Realizing you don't understand something is the first part of the scientific method, but it's the least talked about in classes.

Getting settled in

Apologies all around for not keeping in touch, taking pictures, etc. but it is quite a task to get things in order as a foreigner in Thailand. I have rented a house near my school and across the street from a mountain full of monkeys. Their behavior is comparable to thunderstorms; sometimes the skies are clear and there are no monkeys while other days they can be all around, drinking leftover cokes on the street curb, or performing acrobatics on the powerlines. My local monkeys are much more relaxed and peaceful than the ones at school. School monkeys are on the hunt for junkfood left by children, shot at with pellet guns by the gardeners, and chairs get thrown at them if they enter our classrooms. My first class of my first day started with a monkey in the room, but I told him I needed the room and he left. Others have been more combative.
My domestic fauna consists of ants that taste a little too strongly of formic acid to be pleasant, lazy house geckos, a giant spider I haven't bothered to identify or evict, and a few of the biggest cockroaches I've seen outside of the Bahamas and South Carolina. At least the roaches are not big or numerous enough that I can hear them scuttle around like I did in Eluthera.
The house has character and needs a little work, but it should give me something to do. I've already gotten to know the nice ladies at the hardware store, just down the road. If my dad were here, he would have plenty of jobs to work on between my house and little yard, but he would be quite frustrated at the lack of foresight in Thai construction, and he would immediately start putting in new electrical outlets (some rooms only have one). Funny side note, the most ingenious engineering I've seen in Thailand lies in the electrical outlets that are designed to fit American and Korean type plugs. Brilliant idea, but in practice it makes nothing fit right and there are some pretty sizeable sparks that fly out sometime. I think someone told me electric shock is the second most prevalent cause of death here.
I bought a refrigerator recently and am on my way to being properly domestic. Part of that will also be figuring out the local produce. Aside from learning new names, there are fruits and vegetables here I've never even heard of. I had something the other day that seemed to be a cross between eggplant and tomato.
I have not taken many pictures, despite trips to the beaches, a national park, pineapple farm, Cambodia and Bangkok, but I will fix that soon.